Something to get me started

I joined Weight Watchers online yesterday and all I can say so far is...WOW! I love the site! Its so easy to find recipes and knowledge of foods and their point values. They make it fun to do instead of a pain in the ass, like it used to be. Or, perhaps it is that I am getting older so I am more settled. I am home much more now and so since I cook at home, it is easy to measure and weigh things. I can plan and execute my  meals seamlessly. I know I can lose weight, last year I lost over 40 lbs. I put it back on this year though when my world started falling apart. I am an emotional eater. I also think that when I am not thinking about food, I do well. I have gone all day without more than coffee. When I am crafting or doing something that I am totally engrossed in, I don't think about it. That is not good though, not eating is as bad if not worse than eating to much. So... the happy medium that has previously eluded me, might just be within my grasp now. The hardest part of course is going from being pretty sedentary to doing regular activity. I LOVE Zumba! I have it here at the house and yes, even I can do it lol albeit not for more than 12 mins right now lol... but I am working on that. Doing it once a week and then not again for 3 weeks, well sadly that is not considered exercising.... CRAP!! LOL  Sigh...back to the drawing board, as usual. I am always hopeful though, and that is what separates things now, from things then. Life is so full of adversity these days more than ever. Yet, I find that there is still hope to have my life the way I wish it to be. The largest part of that is to be at a healthier weight. I am realistic in that I am not gonna be a size 10 again....sigh ... but I can have a much closer number than I do now. I have the support and the tools to do it. Those are huge obstacles for many people. I am also on a journey to meditate and yoga more. They are excellent starts to my day and definately aide in my journey to become the best I can be. The 40nfabulous me :) Oh yea... the biggest reason at the moment is that my next birthday I will be turning 40~!!!!! Not that I am freaking out or anything LOL But Yea the big 4-0.... I want to be in the best shape I can. My entire 30ish decade has passed me by with me saying... " I want to be this weight by the time im 30...33...35...37....39....and now here it is. In May I will be 40...so I think this should be enough time to make a significant dent in the massive number of lbs I need to lose. If I can do it... so can you if you are struggling. Give WeightWatchers online a try. You can opt to do the old fashioned method of meetings and weigh ins or...for someone like me who is more comfortable at home...not in front of a lot of people, do the online thing. Weight yerself and just keep track of points ..they make it so simple! Ok guys and dolls, have a wonderful day and as always X0's
                                                                                                          Annie

Today is the Day

I woke up this morning and am deciding that today is the day. I think I have finally had enough! I have reached the point where I realize it is only up to me. I am the one who needs to do the work and I can't expect others to do it for me or to be extra considerate or even give a crap about what I am doing. I don't know why I have always expected people to act human lol have manners and Be somewhat kind of nature. These are lofty expectations rarely met. Sad but true. So.... I need to have less or no expectations of people or of situations. This makes things much easier and just well bare able overall. The next thing I need to do is Get my ass moving! lol I have now several tools at my disposal. However, I am basically lazy... I am going to return to a few decades ago...when remotes were not around. When I read more books. When I parked further away and walked to the door of a store...instead of parking in the lobby lol. I need to De-Technify ( look it up I am sure this IS a werd LOL ) myself in order to get back to the center, the core and reach into the goey center and turn that into a somewhat harder more carefree and healthy center :)  I have done  some exercise and some yoga and some treading....but for 10 to 15 mins each time because I am so out of shape....is NOT getting it done. The length in between each event also has to become more frequent. I start things and give up rather quickly thinking that ehhhh Im fine...the reality is I am not fine. The embarrassing list of things I cant do for someone my age has now become more than I can bare. I am not that old and yet I find myself saying well When I was younger I used to have a Bangin... LOL I wont finish this but you get the idea. It is a bit narcissistic but there were quit a few things that USED to be bangin on me lol Well this year I am going to be 40! and instead of crawling into a hole, I would like to make this next decade the best I can. Before everything lowers and Changes lol I want to be 40 and fabulous so I will have to start now :) cuz its gonna be a looooonnnng road ahead :) wish me luck!!
                                                     X0's
                                                               ~Annie~

Good Morning Tuesday :)

It is Brrrr cold here in Northern Va. I love the colder weather, it does not love me though lol. My sweety does not tolerate the cold well either. However, to me cold signals the start of the holidays. I LOVE the holidays. They seem to make most people a bit more jolly and a little less ummmmm...mean yes mean is the word I will use. Yesterday I took down my Halloween decorations and am getting ready to put up some fall/ thanksgiving ones. Then it will be christmas!!! Which is my favorite I think. The year is coming to a rapid close...this time last year I was just getting out of the hospital...coming home to an empty house and being very sick. This year is a far cry from that and I am not even living in the same state! Not that that is better lol its worse really. I would rather be back in Delaware. Sigh...soon hopefully.
    I am starting my day with some tea...chocolate pureh.....LOVE this one from Numi ( .com). Then I am going to get my shower and do some yoga. Later on we will be getting ready to take our trip to New york to see my family this weekend. That will be interesting and hopefully fun and uneventful. This will be our last holiday all together in my parents house. So it will be nostalgic for me as well. Ok...gonna get this day started. I hope all of you have a wonderful, productive and peaceful day :) X0's
                                                                                                                        ~Annie~

In Consideration...

There are many things that I have thought about, some random and most are in deep contemplation of events that either happened to me or where perpetrated by me. In pretty much all cases, they add up to regret lol. Some regrets are so deep that the scraping of a tattoo gun or the deafening tones of fast music, are the only things that can quell the images and feelings associated with these haunting memories of the past. For most of us...or so it appears to me, we can process and filter these things. Sorting and filing them into categories to which they belong with little or no consequence to our current living conditions. A "wordy" way to say ... we let the crap roll off our backs. The teasing in High school the hazing in College and the possible string of disappointing dates. Which may or may not lead to a disappointing marriage and potential hells spawn running about the place. You know, the kids who will put you in the cheapest nursing home possible upon your impending demise. Leaving you to ponder why in the hell you ever gave birth to them. Sounds like a bad movie lol or at the very least your neighbors down the street. Sigh... I know that this may seem random and somewhat sordid perhaps or depressing ...depending on which way your viewing this. To me I am doing nothing more than finding my way  so to speak. I have many thoughts and feelings swimming through my head, and as I age I am less and less afraid to share them.
        Without being conceited, what is in this brain is astounding or absurd. Again, your choice as to how you want to view this. What your over all mood is will paint the picture of  your day. The things you choose to eat, wear, watch, listen to, as well as what you "hear". Things we read and are told amazingly enough roll around and we interpret things differently than that of what actually is. Though my grammar may be atrocious... my thought patterns are anything but. I do have some sense of logic mixed with some whimsy and viola! Either way, I hold fast and true to what my friend Melita says... " someone will want to hear what you have to say". I do believe that. Someone will care, will feel the same or will be possibly pondering the same things that I am. I think its important for us to be supportive of each other. Try to help each other through this rough terrain that is our individual lives. being positive and sharing can help us or someone else. I believe we need mediums of Art, Music, Food/cooking, Crafting, yoga....whatever your passion is. We should share our experiences and help each other to move on in the lighted direction of love and peace.
                                     In consideration...
                                                                                           X0"s
                                                                                                             ~Annie~

Delaware...O'd to Delaware

So last week we went back to Delaware. AHHHHHH!!! a retreat of sorts and a relaxation from the day to day mundane. Oh and lets not forget the insane~! We have had quite the adventure since our relationship resumed. My other half, Bob and I are extremely happy and well suited to one another. We have so much fun even in the most basic tasks. We saved each other from ourselves and the vultures. We reside here in Va., for the moment! This was a temporary stop on our way to "OUR LIFE". A life which we hope to be building in Delaware...somewhere toward the beach, but off the beaten path of tourists. The completely rested feel we had from waking up somewhere ( familiar to me) and semi familiar to Bob, was sublime! We both loved being somewhere that is still somewhat obscure to the general public. Though I am blogging about Delaware...I hardly want to give away this fantastic secret destination! I came upon this realization having researched and gone on expeditions to other locations... North Carolina...which I am sure is beautiful and prosporous in some places. We just didnt feel "HOME" there. The areas we covered which were along route 17 and close to the ocean, reminded me so much of Delaware, I thought..." Why come all this way when we can go back to De?!?" Then going into N. Myrtle beach in SC...paying 10.5% on a Starbucks Latte nearly caused me to have a coronary !! I said to Bob then and there... "We are NOT moving here~!!"
One main reason would be 15.5% unemployment rate! and then this kind of  Sales tax! that is not a retirement situation. That is a disaster in our book! We want to enjoy our time...not work till we are so old that the typical Walmart greeter dude looks like someone who will out-live us!!  LOL  In De we can fish and shop @ the outlets and dine on fresh seafood or the best Italian food either of us has ever tasted ( IMO) Which is from La Fontana in Magnolia De! if you havent been there...you need to go! There is no better Cannolli around! Ok back to business lol  The man and I just want peace and tranquility! This can be easily achieved in Delaware. No sales tax! beaches! and all of the above! Delaware is also so close to most of the major cities on the Eastern Seaboard... Phili, Baltimore, Wash. D.C., and going North...we cannot forget NYC!! I am  a native NYer~!! grew up on Long Island and lived there for the better part of 29 years...give or take the odd move to Boston, Fla and Cali. within that time. Then the move to Delaware...which is my most rewarding and smartest move to date. I feel like I was led there and that I should lead my other half there. So that we can live in peace and harmony and ENJOY these years...however long we have together! None of us knows what one moment from the next will bring. One thing is for sure, We must truely live and enjoy the time we have, the resources we have and the people in our lives. Only then will we truely be happy and able to enjoy this brief time we all share together.
                                                                                 X0's to all ~
                                                                                                      Annie

In the Beginning...

Hello all and Welcome to my page! I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful brisk weather we are having here in the Mid- Eastern United States?! I am most definitely basking in it.

 I have been contemplating this blog for quite some time now. Unsure I was ever truly going to produce it. I have been a victim my entire life of the fear of everything. This kept me from doing anything other than working and playing on the computer. Of course I have managed to have some sore of life, although not the one I originally intended for myself. It has been a journey. One of pain and growth, of joy and Love. I am living the life to which my universe or higher power intended. I would like to share some of the lovely people, places and things I have seen along the way. I hope that you will enjoy them and be inspired to share your journey as well :)