Another Month Rolls By

Time goes by so quickly. Before we know it, another month goes by. It is about to be March of 2011! Wow! Where does it all go? One of the most compelling questions I have is... What have we done with our time? For me I am still trying each day to adopt this new way of life. The healthier and more fit me. I do pretty well but sometimes there are those times and we all know what they are about.... that time of the month when the hormones surge and some of us change completely within our minds, making us feel as if we have lost our minds (giggle). We get more sensitive and feel more vulnerable. Crying over stupid commercials and misplacing important articles of clothing or car keys. I consume more chocolate and salty foods than any other time of the month and invariably beat myself up about the dumbest things. These are all behaviors I am working on. I can endure these major changes by telling myself that it is with one day at a time I will achieve the self I have always been but was afraid to show. That's right! I am and have always been me but afraid to let people see me. It is easier to hide in fear and the past. Let’s face it, life is tough. It is not fair many times. It can be downright cruel most times. We pad ourselves with creature comforts and extra pounds in an effort to escape the world outside. We introvert in order to retreat from a life of past failed marriages, lost loved ones, distant or completely obscure family relationships. We most of all seal away our own feelings about ourselves. Masking hurt and suffering with humor and smiles. We keep people at a distance, even when we really want to have them in our lives. There are a few who penetrate our rhino like skin and remain with us for long periods of time. They can see that we are tough to get through to, but have a surprisingly soft center to us. After a time we let them into our little circle. They remain cherished and true. Our common interests keep us together, we bond. Sometimes we drift when our lives change and invariably they do. We marry, bear children and move away. Other times we just fall out of favor with one another, sometimes we never know what we did, and it isn’t about us. Sometimes people just go their separate ways. We are Unable to communicate for fear of angering or fear of some sort of reprisal. The luckiest of us will be able to mend ourselves, make our life to be one free of fear and cynicism. Those two things can destroy us more completely than almost anything else. With a positive attitude and a renewed sense of self I can continue to get better by the day. Another Month rolls by …  X0's

                                                                        ~ Annie~